Essential Tips for Aupairs: What to Consider Before Matching with a Host Family

This program may not be what you initially expect, but it ultimately becomes what you make of it. The past two years have been filled with unexpected experiences that have been both priceless and transformative. I was only 19 when I arrived in America, and I remember being a young Dane' who made this decision impulsively. However, I was excited, ambitious, and eager to embrace new opportunities.

After creating a profile on the Culture Care Au Pair website, I found myself heading to America just two months later. I matched with the first family I interviewed with and didn’t take the time to consider whether they were the right fit for me. They seemed friendly and persuasive about the experience I would have, so I was determined to make the most of it, regardless of what happened.

Based on my experience, I want to share some important points to consider when searching for a family or when you are considering a rematch.

COMMUNICATION: This is an important aspect of all healthy relationships. You must speak up if something is bothering you. Don't be afraid to express your feelings respectfully. Remember, you are an adult, and it's ultimately your responsibility to advocate for yourself. If you remain silent, the situation will not change, and you will be the one who feels unhappy. In my experience, this can affect every part of your life. Your LCC is there to support and protect you, and your family will likely respect you more for standing up for yourself. In the worst-case scenario, if things don't improve, you could consider a rematch. However, that's also the best-case scenario, as it saves everyone's time.

Please never just match with the first family you encounter—I made that mistake, and it taught me a valuable lesson.

WIN/WIN; Before you make a match, ensure it is a win-win situation. If both parties are satisfied and receive what they want from the program, both of you will be happier and take better care of each other. I believe this principle applies to many aspects of life. For something to be truly successful, everyone involved needs to feel like they've won in the end. If this isn't the case, feelings of unhappiness and dissatisfaction may arise. Before you make a match, consider what your “win” is and discuss it with your family. Remember, small issues can become significant over time. You might be okay with things now, but later on, they could bother you more than you expect.

INDIVIDUAL: I read that many au pairs often feel left out, and I can imagine how that feels. Although I haven't experienced it myself, I would suggest reminding yourself of your reasons for being here and that you have a family back home. You didn't come to America just to be part of this one family; you came to learn from them and meet many people. You just have to put yourself out there!

This is your time to grow and discover more about yourself. Use your time wisely by investing in activities that benefit you, such as reading good books or taking long walks. Also, make an effort to nurture the friendships that are available to you. Most au pairs are kind and understanding, and you can build strong friendships with them since they are in similar situations.

FREE TIME: Make sure to take your free time for yourself and have fun! "Fun" means different things to all of us, so find what brings you joy. It's important to recharge and go out, meet new people, and explore new places. You don't have time to miss out on these experiences! Life moves quickly, and you'll find that you are more motivated to work and happier overall when you enjoy your personal life. As a young adult, don't hesitate to explore—there's so much to experience!

LOCATION: I have met a lot of au pair girls and people in general, and many of them are unhappy with their locations. They often feel that nothing is close by or that there isn't much to do. This raises an important question: what do I want to achieve from this journey? I strongly believe that your perspective on life plays a significant role in this situation. I sometimes struggle to relate to them because I am very outgoing and always seek new experiences to keep myself busy.

I recommend researching the location before you match with a family.

I encourage you to try new things and embrace every opportunity because you learn and grow from everything you do. You may discover interests you never thought you would enjoy. Remember, you are here for a short period, so embrace the chance you have!